Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
