Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
