I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
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