Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I cut my penus on the lid.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
