Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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