Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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