My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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