I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Is it because I queefed?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
