8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
