he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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