Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
