bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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