did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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