I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
