perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
