I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
