no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
