is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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