Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
