Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
