Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize