just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
