Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
