I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
