Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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