Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
