Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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