he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize