Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
