Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
