she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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