Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
