Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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