he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
