Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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