Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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