Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
