Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
