the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Randomize
