i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
