I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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