i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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