A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
