I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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