this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
