If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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