wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
