So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
