Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
