I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize