That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
