2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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