38 yer olds are good kisserssss
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
