dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize
