the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
