So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
this is an emotional support booty call
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
