THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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