Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
