Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
