ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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