last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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