google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
