I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There r osticjed everywhere
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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