Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
