i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
