I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
