seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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