we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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