mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
