used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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