I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
