i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
