ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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