You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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